We ended up at a 24-hour cafe where I ordered chicken fingers and a beer.
The conversation was nearly as painful as the discovery that the cafe didn't serve French fries (it took him over an hour to ask what I do for work. The entire bill came to --which we split--and when it came time to cheek-kiss adieu, I was there.
Instant rejection or the chance of a second glance.
The possibility of a new relationship based solely on your physical attributes and your ability to ‘take a nice photo’ as my late mother would say.
It was the worst singles night in the history of mankind. Listen, I will put up with pretty much anything in the name of trying to meet that elusive soulmate/Mr Right-now/someone who gets part of my name right and does not have really bad breath. Yes, a dating night based on playing your paramour at table tennis. As you gazed across the pleasant green meadow of reinforced plastic, your future bride/groom would tap a little white orb of loveliness in your general direction.
Out one night with some former coworkers, just, like, celebrating the joys of being young and free and whatever else twenty-five year old girls are supposed to spend their Saturday nights celebrating in New York, I spotted him: Blond, deep V, awful shorts, maybe cute, maybe not... Who knows who was bumping into who, but there was definitely a little of that going on.
Sod how warm, intelligent and sexy you may be in reality, if your face don’t fit, you’re not even getting a wink, let alone 10 minutes in the local Costa.
Youngsters bloom in any lighting; full sun or strip neon.
We hit several men in some rather sensitive places (by accident, I stress). Clusters of feral women had taken to bunching in corners, behind protective protruding surfaces, and throwing ping pong balls at random mates from afar. At one stage a small Italian took to stalking us around the room until we had to physically restrain him. As my friend pointed out the whole business of being single gets so much worse when you are all fenced off together and forced to dance to the rhythm, of the date-makers’ music. We are not all defined by being single – the fact we have not yet hooked up with the love of our lives is not something that somehow unites us or makes us the same bunch of losers. At one stage I did manage to win us free drinks through a bit of pretty shit-hot dancing (what can I say?
Though to be honest I got shoved out of the way by some other overly-competitive boys who seemed less keen on dating and more keen on trying to kill me.